Early rules for life?

Dont you just love him?????? (well to have his money anyway!)

Bill Gates is attributed to have made the following observations to students in a speech given at a High School (MT.WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, CA) (2003)about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good,
politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You
won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine
about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off
and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

I for one would like to endorse these rule as I am also a firm believer that the word "Job" was derived from "Just over broke" the situation we all (with a few exceptions) find ourselves in throughout life, it is the means by which most governments run countries. Create your own oportunities ( easy to say !)

Barber shop blues (far from it!)

My wife used to cut our childrens hair when they were young. My daughter always had a "pudding basin" hair cut with what could only be be called,irregular Lines. my son`s was never much better just a little more "chopped". They were the product of a frugal lifestyle which even today, after retirement, we are subjected to, yet again (too much month left at the end of the pension sum, syndrome!!).

No! she doesn`t still cut their hair but a week ago, whilst I was booking myself into my usual flirtatious Unisex hairdressers, for my £16.50 "tony curtis" (if you believe that you`d believe anything! true that I may ask them for that style! to which they usually reply "I am a hairdresser not a Fcuking magician" ) she suddenly decided that she would take the money and do it herself. I froze!!!!! I had visions of my sons hair after a prune and nearly wept. I quietly replace the reciever with a "Ill let you know when I`m free" ( never free but always reasonable :o))) and quietly got on with something else, hoping that she would forget and that I could then re book at some later date.

That was a week ago, today she announced "look what I bought" and produced a gentlemens hardressing set, complete with cape, scissors,brush,clippers and "lenght guides" I went weak at the knees, I started to tremble and again my sons hair flashed before my eyes. "Oh! I said", startled! and with a pleading look I said that she neednt have bothered as my appointment was for this afternoon (I lied). Dont worry she said breezly,I will do it and save us all that money! I slumped into a kitchen chair and had the cape wrapped around me and away she went. I have little enough hair as it is and when I saw what was falling to the floor I nervously commented that it seemed that it was a lot, by this time she had run the clippers up one side of my head, and there was no going back. "Shit!" was the reply I have put the wrong depth guide on, Oh no! I am using the No 1 guide , sorry! I should have used the number 3, What are we going to do now?" "always we when there is a problem!" I nervously joked as I didn`t want to upset her with the clippers fired up, did I?, Panic!!! or what!!.

I suggested that I should start a trend with the reverse to a Mohecan haicut and we started to laugh (dont ask me why, probably nerves?) she tried to fudge the mistake with a dextrous change of depth guides but eventually we had to face up to it! it was going to have to be a number one and like it!!

I looked on the floor and there was enough hair to make a rabbit. Bearing in mind that I am bald anyway, and coupled with the many scars that I have obtained to my head from a mis spent youth, middle years and in fact, life I guess, I had more than my fair share of chunks missing as well! She delved into the shiny aluminium box that came with the kit and produced a soft brush with which she dusted all the remaining hair off the cape and wisked the cape off with the flourish of a Bull fighter and asked "anything for the week end sir. Well!..... I collapsed, she laughed uncontrollably and both of us had tears running down our faces.

I have to say I do look like a scalped rabbit, caught in the headlight of a car, that can best be described as having been run over previously (accounting for the chunks missing) I had suffered the bad jokes that only a Barber could tell and the numerous questions like where did you go on your holiday? did you enjoy it? ( to which my reply was "You were with me you silly cow")her condom question was the "last straw" we are still laughing from the comment "anything for the weekend sir"). I will give her another chance! not only have I not laughed so much for a while (to my cost) I really enjoyed the inter reaction. Not to mention that the kit cost as much as my hair cut would have done, so we are on a winner from now on! I have worked it out that for every hair cut that she does, including tips :o)) I can travell 20 miles in my boat so ten haircuts a year I can go to france twice and bring back cheap Fags and wine ( God only knows why we would want to do that as we dont smoke or drink?).

Hold it right there!!!!!! it would appear that I am getting new curtains for the lounge and, I am not tipping her enough!!! Bol*o*ks!!!!! Ah well!!!!!

Two oclock in the morning and I am Bored!!!!!!

Funny how some days its more difficult to sleep than others. It all started with a blue screen crash again! this was at about 22.00 yesterday. I had been working for the last day or two taking a watermaker out of a boat and had got home in the mid afternoon absolutely knackered and wanting a bath.

At 15.30 Elliot (not Gnasher anymore as he has stopped biting people) and his Mum, Emma, arrived she is heavily H.P. and was needing some respite from a "canine" toothing son and his misery! (I finally have a use in life?) he had been really grumpy all day so far and Emma thought, who shall I get to cheer him up and we sprang to mind. Whilst Emma and Carol chatted and drank tea, I took him off to explore the Garden through the comfort of double glazed patio doors of course, as there was about an inch /25mm of snow in evidence at the time.

I promised him that the grass was an area reserved for he and I to play football (when he can walk that is!) I pointed out the few "Pretty flowers" ( funny how things become "pretty" "little" "lovely" when you are talking Kids speak)the "lovely" birdies and the "little" foxes tracks in the snow. I showed him around the kitchen which I explained "Grumps" (thats me) had badly fitted, and one day will finish it for Nana!

He listened intently and gave the occasional smile in between holding his face where his teeth hurt him (poor little soldier). He now stands semi unaided ( well! if he can hold on to something with one hand, that is) and tries to walk but when you hold his hands he will immediately sit down.... so down I get onto all fours and I raced him up and down the hall a couple of times. I am now really ready for bed and its only 17.00 Phew pufff pufffffff!!!!!

I don`t know how we all managed with bringing up children, but we did, now just a short visit nearly kills me( but I love it!). Well Elliot and his mum left at 17.00 after a desperate panic to find Mr Bunny ( we, Elliot and I, had hidden him in a cupboard to create a bit of amusement!!! although Elliot informs me that he really wouldn`t care if he lost Mr bunny and that it was his Mum that was the worried one not him, it was only his teeth that made him grizzle as he left! Yeah Right!!!!!) we were going to send a ransom note to his dad as a joke but Elliot is a little slow on the writing as yet and it would be recognised immediately!!!

We had dinner at 19.00 and settled down to watch TV, when a friend who has a boat in the Marina along the way from me and his new lady arrived (both he and her previous partner are friends of mine..... difficult or what?)after they left I sat at the computer and read blogs and generally chilled out. then Bang a Bloody, Blue screen crash!!!!!!!!!!! so I have been until now sorting it out. (I wish I could sort it permanently)

I should be finished taking the water maker out tomorrow and only have the electrics to remove so it won`t take long. The snow came yesterday and the forcast is for better weather at the week end. Just when my boat is coming out of the water for antifouling (thursday) ain`t it fun? I will be working on the boat on Saturday and maybe Sunday, earthing the forward through hull skin fittings as the manufacturers never did it (bearing in mind that the vessel was built in 1978 Poor show "Princess")

Who says retirement is boring? I dont know how I will have enough time to do all the things I want to do! I`ll tell you one thing.... old age is not for the faint hearted thats for sure! Well its now 04.44 and I am feeling better having rambled on and I shall finally retire to bed! will I sleep though?????? Snooooooooooooooororrrrrrrrrrrrrr

LiveSTRONG

Today, I purchased an insignificant yelloy band!!!!!!A while ago my son Paul was diagnosed at the age of 30 with Testicular Cancer. When I was first told of his condition I fell apart, I sobbed, I reproached myself (why wasn,t it me?)my wife was very much stronger although inwardly she was as deeply concerned.

I immediately got on to the net and checked out the disease and familiarised myself whith it to the best of my non technical ability. During this period I came across a man called Lance Armstrong whom I had never heard of previously. It turned out that he had suffered with the same Cancer (and more he had a brain tumour too) and he was a winner of the Tour de France cycle race, which I had little knowledge or interest in at tht time.

He had "over come" his Big "C" and had written a book about his fight so I contacted the publishers for some way that I could ask him to contact my son to give him some encouragement, during this terrible time. I really didnt, at that time understand that he was actually a "superstar" in his own field and that he had also set up the Lance Armstrong foundation, to add to his work load as well as still being a competitor in the world of cycling ( and indeed has won another two Tour de France races since with a third in the frame).

The publisher explained that I might contact the foundation direct and make the request and thanked me for the call. I really didn`t want to further inconvenience any efforts that he (LAF) was making in the cause etc so I made no further inroads to them.

Within the next couple of days I recieved a package (bearing in mind that publishers print books for money) and recieved a copy of Lance Armstrongs book, with a letter wishing my son the very best in his fight. You can imagine how I felt at the time! I gave my son the book having read it myself in one go, and wrote to the publisher with my heartfelt thanks.

Today I managed to buy a couple of "liveSTRONG" bands, these simple yellow plastic bands denote one of the many ways the Lance Armstrongs Foundation has of raising the awareness of Testicular Cancer, at the same time raising some cash. They are rare in my neck of the woods and I shall wear it with Pride, knowing that I have recognised the need to fight along side those who are stricken with this terrible disease.

Boat Fix

I went down to the boat yesterday and got my "Boat Fix". She was sitting there on her mooring as pretty as she ever was (beauty as always,is in the eye of the beholder) with no problems at all, even the usually chaffed (a little ) mooring lines were perfect. I had,last year, spliced them into eyes, on the ends and fixed them semi permanently to the dock. I tried using only one forward(instead of two, one forward and one aft) spring which worked well. I also incooperated four rubber tensioners in the lines which held her semi tight to the pontoon.

The "Float charger" has now brought the batteries up to their correct level and both the wngines started first time, running a sweet as a nutfor an hour or so. I checked out the engine room and there was no water in the bilges at all, so on the whole a good winter, even though there had been some very bad storms.

I visited the engineering works and purchased some spares ready for my routine maintenence next week, so I am now ready to do that from Tuesday on.

I popped into see the elderly couple on the beautiful 47 foot sailing boat moored next to me. only to find him sitting alone reading. His wife had been taken into hospital for a "respite" (just after Christmas) both for her and him as he is the long term carer, even though he has severe spondulitis and can`t bend and, at over six feet it is very difficult for him to move around the boat. Whilst at over six foot headroom the boat is lower than his height in quite a few places.

We chatted for a couple of hours and I took him up to the local Asda (Wall mart) for his shopping. While there he purchased a Valentines card for his wife saying "I haven`t done this for about twenty years, living so close to each other, as we do,
on the boat it hasn`t seemed necessary, she will be surprised!" I had to walk around to another isle on some pretext as I started to "fill up", I bit my tongue to inflict enough pain so as not to do so, but only just managed it, (from the surprised look of a lady helping herself to slug killer! thats very apt?) in fact I am doing it again, just writing about it. To think of them in their "hey day" sailing around the world in that beautiful yacht, reduced now to not being able to look after themselves properly, hurts me bad. We all take things for granted, dont we? such a simple act like many that we/I could do,will mean so much (yeah! of course I buy my wife a valentines card each year! but I dont sign it). I really must finish that kitchem :0))

I said my goodbyes to him wishing them all the best, he hopes that she will be home on monday "all being well" I Switched off my engines and left for home. I thought of his simple act all the way back and vowed to make myself a better person! I guess, as with my diet, I will fail! :o(((

Born again Bikers

The guys and Gals you see in the photograph below are the members of my motorcycle club pictured here outside a hotel in Ireland. We went to watch the Ulster (motor cycle) Gran Prix. the troubles were still ongoing at the time of this photo and I have to say that all the people that we met during our visit, be they Protestant, Catholic, North or South were very kind to us and we were treated with the utmost courtesy. What a beautiful country Ireland is.

Motorcycling is a great leveler, in fact the people in this picture come from very diverse backgrounds and occupations, from A senior Police, executive, officer, a surgeon, engineer, theme park executive, a housewife,a multi millionaire business executive, an unemployed dosser (no not me!)a Transport company owner. I am stage right in the (rather kamp) black leather outfit more appropriate for the Blue oyster bar ( circa "Police academy")

Yes you are right! I have just found a stash of old photos, so here they are, Sorry

Which way to the Blue oyster Bar?? 

My families favourite boat.

I had Wiskey Mac (the family favourite) for a number of years (82-86 ish)and sailed her all over the south coast of England and the coast of France. She was a very sea-kindly boat and performed well in rough weather. The dingy you see being towing behind her was needed to get ourselves and all the equipment from the shore to my swinging mooring, at that time, and was usually left on that mooring, but on long holidays it was often dragged along.

Sailing well! comes to something when your tender is as big as your boat! 

Swinging new York, Gnasher Style 

Gnasher meets his match in New York 

Gnashers other two generations (he`s in the middle):o)) 

A very welcome visitor!

Amy! pictured here with my daughter Sam in my garden,( yea! yea! yea! the one in clothes is my daughter!!! te, he!) This photo was taken long before the D.W.A. act became law. She is now in residence with a group of Five Orang-utangs in a very large enclosure and part of an officially regulated breeding program. these animals are endangered and it is important to preserve a pure strain for re-introduction to the wild (if its ever possible) after man has Fcuked up their existing environment and eaten them all? Grumpy head on!!!!

Two of the younger members of my family 

Gnasher hits New York! Have the Yanks bitten off more than they can chew?

Well it had to happen the Gnasher has hit the streets of new york. Have the Americans indeed, bitten off more than they can chew? allowing him a visa.

Is the skyline going to change yet again as he bites his way through the base of the statue of liberty. watch this space.....

Yes you guessed it Elliot ( my grandson) flew to the states today with his mum to visit his aunt. I really don`t envy her the job, it must be pretty intensive with all the gear that you have to take with you just to take a 17 month old around the corner to visit Grumps! let alone to cross oceans.


They are going for an extended week end and will be back early next week so I may get my Elliot fix soon enough. Give em hell E....:o)) Grumps!!!!

Stephens Island

I left home for the Isle at 00.600 it was cold, dark and the start of a very poor day. I hit the motorway, and sat at eighty miles an hour for an hour until I saw the signs for the IOW ferry (Victor Spinetti`s words of Marlene Dietrich "rubies going up and diamonds coming down" was with me all the way, beauty in simple things). I turned into a multi story car park and left the car there for the day.

The ferry was over very quickly and I enjoyed the Roll and Coffee on the journey. It’s amazing how I just love to be on the sea, no matter how far or how rough! I have to say that a job skippering a ferry would drive me crazy. I would have to have a challenge at each end or I would go mad without any, so much so that I would have to create them (not a good thing) to preserve my sanity. I have docked a super sized hovercraft and parked a Super cat (Super Sea Sick as known by its staff) and would really get bored doing that for any length of time, so a small ferry ….eugh! Please don’t get me wrong! The skippers do a great job and I have nothing but admiration and respect for them and their great ability and staying power....but even though my ticket covers for me to do so it’s not for me!!!

My friend’s (Stephen) ….. Friend, (Pete) was truly waiting for me when I landed! But!!!!......... He was at the wrong ferry terminal ten minutes past the prearranged time and we rang each other to find out where we were. Stephen had told his friend that I would be at (of course) the wrong terminal. Good start to what was a great if not a hard working day.

We pulled into the Marina in Petes shogun 4x4, Steven spotted us arriving and as we came to a halt at his boat he jumped ten feet at least, off the ladder leading up to his boat and greeted me with a two handed handshake that nearly crippled me... "It’s really great to see you mate!" he boomed I do appreciate your coming down and giving me a hand like this, his ever bright eyes twinkling a deep blue. At just over five feet four tall and with a barrel chest more like that of a weight lifter, he hadn’t changed. At fifty four he was still a fit man, he prided himself still on being able to run an 11.5 second one hundred metres


In his early life after that of one started, like me, among the razor gangs and tenements of fifties South London. He had entered a specialist regiment as an alternative to receiving a long prison sentence, for a crime that he still denies committing, even though more than capable of doing so. I have no doubt that at some later time in his life he most certainly had carried out many similar acts but it would have been called by a different name then!... like defending his country…. fighting off the aggressor… Words like extreme valour would have been used.

In the rather dog eared document that he keeps as a mark in a pilot book on his Wheelhouse shelf of many, those very words are indeed used, that “in the face of adversity and with no consideration for his own safety he did”… etc etc etc. He had done more than his fair share of risky and good deeds in his life since his early impoverished upbringings.

Stephen had sailed most of his life (when he could)he starting by ferrying insurgents into countries that neither had efficient radar wanted or wanted them there. the early all wood boats were ideal as they never showed up on the radar.

Up until last year he had been the senior personal protector of a well known man of wealth, and had retired on a good pension to better enjoy his first love… the sea. He lived on his boat having never had any firm footing on land or any lasting relationship, due to the nature of his work. The trades he had learned and used to good effect in the regiment were of little use to him now and he, whilst a little “out of the water” as it were, managed to preserve a sense of optimism regarding his advancing years. His wit and well rounded sense of humour, grounded on very hard and dangerous times in places like the desert, glaciers, oceans and the jungles never left him.

We started with gusto into the washing and cleaning of the large steel motor cruiser Steven had chosen to make his home. It was now time for some maintenance to be done to his boat for the approaching season and we launched ourselves into it with the fervour of men possessed, with myself and Pete ragging him, over his “senior moment” regarding where I was to be met. Stephen made us a coffee and we commenced by washing down the whole of his large steel Motor yacht with a pressure washer which Pete took instant control of and like children we laughed and shouted as we were sprayed mercilessly as soon as the opportunity arose for Pete to be a little careless. By 19.00 and without another break we had antifouled her, having cleaned and polished the hull above waterline and topsides in total with a high quality marine polish. She was now looking like a new boat. Stephen was proudly exclaiming that we had done really well and that a “squadron of lads couldn`t have done better” I was absolutely Knackered.

We showered in the WC block which had no heating and was colder than doing so on the lawn out in front and I chucked my “ working clothes in the bin”( you guessed it Pete had been even more careless with the antifouling than the pressure washer) we dressed for our meal in town, on Steven, and off we went . I arrived back at the ferry at 21.00 and picked up my car 30 minutes later I drove home musing about my day watching the “rubies going up and diamonds coming down” I worryed about Stephen and his continued adventure into a strange new world, his living close to a holiday town, and that some day a yob or a group thereof, will expect to be able to get the better of this quiet ageing "old" man, only to find that his quiet demeanour isn`t actually fear but unregognised evidence of an in built capacitor charging up rapidly, ready to do the most frightening damage to the unweary, and he will certainly be in trouble again.

Inpromptu radio comedy

I was listening to a radio show on the way down to my boat and the presenter was introducing the travel and weather girl to bring her section into the show. in previous programmes, I have heard him say things to try to phase her or cause her to make a mistake but she always, ever the proffessional, got through the slot without a mistake (until today)

he said "well here we have, Julia lickwood (names changed) to introduce travel and weather, over to you Julia" "Thankyou John! I am on the banks of the river Sal today, in salcombe devon and I am looking along the beach and I can see waders, swans,peawits,and...." "how about a shag!!" interrups john!! Silence....."splutter! splutter! cough! cough!" says Julia "what on earth do you mean?" she says very indignantly.... silence.... oh! Oh! you mean a cormorant? she replies! "no I can`t see any of those" "What did you think I meant?" says John with a smile in his voice...... No more travel and weather for a while she ran out of time!

Guernsey storm trip boat

This was the boat that was sinking under me as I struggled to helm her to Guernsey in a force 10.

Prior to leaving Phillips yard, the company that undertook to sort the leaking skin fittinge and didnt. We were moored opposite the Royal navy college on the same pontoon and up river of us was moored a large plastic gin palace, that had just had two new propellors fitted and was leaving before us to go back to Bournemouth.

I assisted with the casting off and took controll of the mid cleat line which was the mid spring. as the tide was ebbing the GP was being pressed back on to us and to protect my asset I was going to hold on to that spring untill the GP had some forward movement against the quite fierce tide .

The engines were ticking over nicely and warmed up and the skipper a crusty ex navy type ordered "cast off" and the well disciplined crew let go of the bow and stern lines.

I waited as I said before, for him to move forward. he looked fiercly at me and shouted OK! ok, cast of the mid spring if I must ask you especially? and he plunged the throttles into gear and promptly surged astearn, against my still held spring, towards my bow approximately a foot away. The pontoon and my boat luckily also went with it, as he tried again and again to find out what was wrong.

I asked him to cut the engines which he did, and climbed aboard still hanging on to the spring, asking him to make fast for a few seconds and then as I shouted to him that I thought that the props had been installed the wrong way round. he looked back at me and started up the engines again and thrust them down into astern and he went ahead. The works was shut and the next time there was going to be anybody at the workshop was on the monday. I had diving gear on board but was bu**ered if I was going to change his props around for him after that unnecessary chirlish display and of I went to sink!!!! :o)) or was it sulk? no! I think I was right the first time? Sink!!!!!

My last sail boat a Moody 29 pictured on the river Dart 

Gorillas in the Misto!!!

Bif and Baf (their names have been changed to preserve the identity of the individuals) the two lowland Gorillas, were sitting in their night quarters, making their beds ready for the night ahead of them. The satisfied grunts and groans could be heard as he, Bif, the larger (male) of the two pinched her (baf the female`s) straw and used it for his own bit of the sleeping shelf. Baf worked un-perturbed ignoring the grumpy approach of Bif and she plonked herself down long before he had finished pulling and poking his much larger area of straw into an acceptable, to him, bed, an artisan to the end.

One of Biffs little tricks, and he had many, was to pretend to be asleep and then as an unsuspecting group of visitors came into their house he would jump with all his, very considerable strength, into the air and land vertically on the glass with all “four feet” landing at the same time. Now let me tell you 23 stone of gorilla makes one hell of a bang and the effect that it had, more than satisfied him as he climbed deliberately back onto his sleeping shelf, feigning sleep once again, and ready for the next unsuspecting visitors to appear. Visitors never hung about after they had been treated to a “Bifjump” as it had been called in the past.

I watched them through the “bullet proof glass” and wondered what would happen should one day it ever break, I left them to it while their keepers locked their quarters, and I headed home.

Sometime in the morning of the next day I was talking to a gardener standing on the lawn of the stately home that was the centre piece of the Zoo that I was associated with. We discussed the weather, the plants, and lack of visitors for that time of year etc and suddenly a commotion in the distance brought my attention to an elderly couple running towards the gate.

I guessed that they had missed, or were late for, their coach which was a normal situation, but no, as they ran past, they waved and shouted “Gorilla’s in the misto “ pant! Pant! “ never coming here again”!!!!!!! or something like that and suddenly it occurred to me that all may not be well with the Gorilla exhibit. We, the gardener and I ran to the gorilla house where Biffs head was poking out of the public area door with a what the fu*k have I done? look on his face. He saw us running towards him and shut the door quickly disappearing inside (just as well for us). I was soon to find out exactly what would happen if the glass broke. It had!!!!

I ran around to the back of the house and saw Baf calmly sitting on the sleeping shelf and Bif slowly making his way back into the cage over rather a lot of broken glass. He looked a bit shaky and downtrodden, but was without injury. They were let out into their outside enclosure and a little later in the day, the glass was replaced (the spare a special order sheet, had been in stock for ten years and never needed until this day) both Bif and Baf were checked over by the vet, being pronounced fit if not “weary of glass” for a while. We never did contact the elderly couple who were “Biffed”, so we guessed that they were fit too, having run at speed, all the way to the gate from the Gorilla house and beyond.

The day after the glass incident they seemed quite happy and so I chose the largest melon that I could find in the fruit shed and a bag of various fruit. I also slipped into their inner house a Basket ball that had been left behind by a family group, some days before, to give them something to play with. As they entered the inner enclosure Baf made a beeline direct for the fruit and the Basket ball Bif grabbed her as if to suggest caution, but then holding her in front of him as if she was a shield he allowed her to poke the ball whilst he too tried not too hard to do the same. He wasn’t happy and leaving Baff he climbed up onto the safety of the sleeping shelf with some of the fruit and commenced, quietly, to eat it with one eye firmly kept on what she was doing.
Baff then picked up the Basket ball and as it looked like a Mango or melon she decided to bite a lump out of it with her canines. Its texture surprised her and on the second bite she managed to make a small pin hole into it which started to hiss. Dropping the ball, she suddenly found herself lifted bodily off the ground and again being placed firmly in front of Biff, now sitting bolt upright on the shelf, to protect him from what ever it was making that noise. He gesticulated freely and groaned and pointed but still insisted that Baff stayed to protect him.

As if taking for ever the ball finally stopped hissing. Slowly the courage came back to Biff and he unceremoniously plopped her back on top of the ball, with much gesticulating with his shovel like hands, groaning to her to investigate further. He however still stayed up on the shelf. She took a second bite out of the now deflated ball and ripped it clean in half. (So much for my idea of them playing with it)

He winced and hollered that half was his (I think! not speaking much Gorilla!) she threw half up to him and he wasn’t very interested as it turned out to be inedible. She however pulled the horsehair liner out, placing the cover onto her head and sat there like a shop mannequin peering at herself in her reflection of the glass. As the courage really started to show itself in Biff he began to strut around the inner enclosure, with his chest out and his muscles (and he has some) pumped up keeping one eye on the now silent bits of basketball and the other, now ever present threat, the glass. What is a poor Macho Male Gorilla to do these days? It’s all too much.

The fruit soon disappeared and Biff soon forgot about the ball. Baff still sat there with her half of it on her head. They both now waited for the next team of visitors to enter. They had found that the “hat” was quite a diversion and while the visitors were making comments about “the little Gorilla” “Oh! look at her hat ahh! Isn’t she sweet.!” Bif could give an even better shock pouncing from behind!

Before I retired the gorillas had been re-housed in a new large splendid enclosure and sleeping quarters and since had become part of a very much larger regulated breeding group. Some six plus young Gorillas have been sired toward the ever important captive gene pool to prevent extinction of the species. Re-introduction is the next great problem, but it will come! God help those who find themselves living in the proximity of Biff- n- Baff and their amazing tricks! I would just love the opportunity!!.

Sunday

A visit from the "Nasher"brought us up with a start, at approximately 0.900 the Nasher hit the beach the front door burst opened and he launched himself along the hallway carpet at frightening speed his jaws striking out in all directions. His Nana sidestepped his first bite and dissapeared into the kitchen whilst his rather slower moving Grumps (me) didnt see him coming (Yea Right!) He was upon me in a flash with teeth flailing trying to inflict the "Elliot Kiss". I rolled across the floor and grabbed him from behind throwing him onto the sofa and jumped upon him. I then quickly cuddled and tickled him into submission.

Yes Elliot 17 months old (my grandson has started to use his almost full set of teeth, regrettably on others) the nursery have put him into an older years group, so when he bites he gets a punch, seems fair? I toook him for a tour of the usual places like my office where he immediately and without my seeing (devious little Bstd) switched off my compbox costing me my latest four page blog, (no loss to others) we sung and danced to to "bling bling frog! yes thats the one the annoying one and played it over and over again to his demand of the the word ahh!

We got bored with that and off to the lounge it was where the wall pieces a17oo royal enfield flintlock and a smeiser tower lock were fired (without powder I might say ) time and time again to the same demanding Ahh! (I wish he would put some effort into walking and talking rather than biting! woops! there he goes again Ouch! "don`t do that" .

When I had a young Orangutang to visit for a while ( dont you always?) she took my hand one day and placed it in her mouth. I did the same to her (God knows where it had been! I did actually but didn`t think at the time eugh!!! I spit at the thought!!!) and she screamed the place down without me even biting her. when I do that to Elliot his mother does the screaming. perhaps I should bite her?? ;o)) not really!! I jest, OMG what Have I said.

Well the dust settled and my son and his mother felt it was now safe to come out of the kitchen as Elliot was perhaps now tired out (more like Grumps was) and so we waved good bye and off (I went to bed for a couple of hours. not really) they went to Tescos, shopping, Elliots mum was at work and heavily pregnant ( game girl!! on a Sunday too!! Work I mean not the pregnancy) so it was my sons turn to entertain him. I hope they never get a pet tiger in case that is brought around for me to tire out???.

The club was calling and off we (note I say we! ) went for lunch, the commodores wife was cooking it today so I persuaded my missus to come as well to add to the support. We had roast Lamb and all the trimmings. after the club closed at 14.00 we adjourned to the commodores boat another princess 41 like mine and spent an hour or too cruising pleasantly up and down the river thames at chertsey "chewing the fat"until we lost the light and went back to his mooring. we had a very pleasant day, all in all, what with Nashers visit, I still bear the scars!! a great meal and pleasant company during the boat trip. Soon it will be down to my boat and some antifouling to do!!!!!!!!!!Eugh!

Why is it that all the good boats have the names of Drinks. (my first sailing boat)

Hello "Picasso"

or not so hello! I have just made the " testes up" of the year. God only know what picture I have finally got on to my Blogsite? I copied a photo and then when it didn`t work, I created a file and so on and now having entered the file into the blog it isnt anthing that I have seen before am I on someone elses Blog? Woe is me !!!!!" just when I thought it was safe to go into the electronic water. Ridicule? ah!!!! heres a button which says "remove" now if I push that will I dissapear or just the blog (holds nose and goes for it) and again!!! nothing..... still nothing Oh dear, I have just made the Testes of the year. was that a "Modus"????? have I finally gone round in a circle to eventually dissapear, like a modus, into my own wrecked em!!! Woe is me!.......................te he!!! Daft or what????

Funny how boats are named after drinks 

I enjoy Sushimi. but not too sure about this place! how would you answer the phone and announce blow fish on your menu! :o)))

The original brochure picture of my boat. Roll on the boating season!!! 

what a lovely picture. (piece of cake now!) now where is that photo of my boat?????? 

Elliot and me at (you guessed it) christmas 

What are mates for!

Today, my mate Paddy (a computer wiz! ) came round today and helped me through the trauma of my first photo post and here it is. I am currently on information overload. I reckon, what with having to learn the new finepix software for the camera and the Hello stuff I have completed the equivalent of approximatly ten months of the IT course I have just resigned from. I am quite pleased with myself (I will be! if I can do it on my own, time will tell!) .

If the Elliot Christmas picture comes up I will have really cracked it and posted a picture on my own. Sorry blog to actually have let you know what I really look like,, Come back! come back! I am OK! really I am! I dont bite!!! ................ much.....................nex photo post will have to be my boat ! now where is it????

My grandson, Elliot, on his first birthday. Yipeeee I have cracked it ??????? 

The Cafe society

Well I was allowed into the cafe today! but Evanthia made me wait for my lunch for at least an hour, I guess it was her way of getting her own back on me. When firstI arrived Yanni popped his head around the corner from the kitchen making gestures that I was in trouble, so I suffered in silence.

My mate paddy arrived and we sat waiting for our dinners like two naughty school boys. As she delivered them, Evanthia turned to paddy and asked him who the man was that came on Saturday, and off we went again, I couldn`t believe that she really didn`t believe me now, what ever I said.

Paddy said that he was a famous actor and off we went again!!!!!! Whats his name? I can`t remember! etc, etc. She stormed off saying to her young daughter, who was enjoying her lunch (having had a days holiday off school) that she should never believe anything that men tell her.

Perhaps one good think has come of it anyway.

I have decided that I won`t continue on with the induction course at the IT college, I am too old to be f*c*ed about by idiot so called tutors and college systems. I rang them today and dictated my message to a mechanical voice. I hope they get it! too bad if they don`t they should be better organised, student number 127387 has terminated. GRrrr.......... I shall miss the executive student relations officer in the sprayed on suit though.

Banned from the cafe :O(((

On saturday I met my old entertainments manager who I hadn`t seen for ages he turned up out of the blue to surprise, my other friend and I. Evantia took me to one side and quietly asked who he was and to which I replied oh! just one of my many theatrical friends , she looked at me in a sort of disbelief, but with no glimmer showing in my expression to disprove what I had just said, she asked me again what does he do. Oh! he`s a famous film actor now but you probably wouldn`t recognise him without his wig and make up I lied. Ah she cooed and walked away.

when I went to the cafe on monday(yesterday) Evanthia collared me straight away asking again what the name of the guy was and what films had he been in as she didnt recognise him. Oh the latest James bond film. what was the other one oh! yes Alexander, Oh and far too many more to mention. What sort of wig does he wear she asked and whats his name. Oh! I dont remember his stage name his street name is Rory. How come you dont remember his name if he`s famous? what parts did he play? she asked almost pleadingly, I still dont recognise him, she said . With this continued fencing from me, Yanni, Evanthias husband and cook came out from the kitchen and in apparent desperation said "for Christs sake tell her who it was as she hasn`t stopped all weekend about who it might have been"

Oh! now I am in big poo for winding her up so I think to myself that I had better come clean but now I dont really have then nerve to do so to her directly so I wink at Yanni and and tell Evanthia that his very latest film was "Taking the mickey" she hadnt heard of it of course and then slowly came round to the fact that I had been winding her up. Well I thought that the world was going to end. I was promised all sorts of bad luck for not being truthfull to her I was told that I would never have another cup of tea from her cafe, That my parents definitely were not married, and on she went. I was banned from the cafe for my lifetime, which she assured me would be short.

Oh! I forgot to mention that earlier all the other regulars had cottoned on to my diversion and when she asked them who they though he was thay said such name as Jude law, Hugh grant, and a miriad other names that she of course disgreed with they were brilliant and kept the wind up going for at least another two hours before I finally arrived.

After about thirty minutes still sitting with my now long since empty cup of tea, listening to the pan crashing, mumbled voice of Yanni trying to console his wife and the raised rebukes of Evanthia. I was still refusing to believe that she meant what she said. All became silent and she appeared I wasn`t sure if I should run off like a scolded schoolboy or I should await my fate. she walked up to me and said in her cold greek accent I suppose you want another cup of tea, yes please I said shakily. " where do you want it! over your head?" in a cup please I said in mock sub servance. "Oh you really had me going" she said "I have told all my family (and believe me there are a few of them) my daughter" "and most of the street" called Yanni from the back kitchen, "shut up!" she called out too him. I do feel foolish she said you really had me going then. What could I say, dont trust a stranger? not at this juncture she wasnt fully down on the ground yet and may have reacted violently, bless her I do feel really sorry for what I did but it was so funny to hook her, play her along and finally to watch her as the realisation finally went home. She now sees me in a different light and doesnt quite know how to take me any more. I do feel that I have lost something, and am a little sorry for spoiling a good relationship

Back into Education with a small "e"

What can I say ? I attended the comp course and yes it was "crap" so far I have been told about the folley of hanging my coat on the back of my chair, of shouting when there is a fire, of booking eight hours as a tuition day, and a million other "spurious nothingnesses" totally unrelated to the compbox blues. Yes! its not for me. I will give it another two hours so as to finish my "induction"and probably not continue. I am really dissapointed I was so looking forward to tidying up my comp act, but "hey ho!" it is not to be?

Yes I caused havoc whilst making my point at the reception, and yes! sixty people could neither sign in or sighn out whilst I did so !!!!!!!!! but I care not! as they told me that it was about time someone told them what everybody silently thought! How to make friends and influence people? "Ok takes off grumpy head!"

I have had a good day! I have heard from one of my fellow bloggers who is alive and well with the exception of sore knees from a skating incident at a local rink! Get better soon wont you!


I have been able to help a friend of mine sort his computer and it is flying along now, even if he has locked himself out of Hotmail (I couldnt sort that and the little security padlock is still evident). Regrettably I am having to type this as fast as I can as I have just got over another blue screen crash! so the compbox isnt fully well yet, Blaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Have a great evening and sleep well! Bye!!!

Evening comes so quickly

The day has raced by today, it is very cold (not as cold as middle europe) but cold enough for me to wear a coat. I had my usual rondevous at the cafe this morning and a late breakfast. I met two of my old work collegues and we had a great chat for about an hour, about (yes...... you guessed it!) old times, given that neither one of them is over 40 years of age and that I didnt instigate the nature of the chat, I dont feel too bad about looking back.

When I got home I found out that I had missed a visit from my grandson..........Drat and bother! Apparently he was really grotty today and unconsolable with teeth emergence problems (I have the opposite my problems are when I have to have them pulled out..) So today I have blogged a lot. I have also found a lot of friends who are using Skype too, so I have been chatting a little too. My daughter popped in too and shewed us her new boots. She drives a bright yellow golf convertable and passed me this morning in a narrow road ( I didnt see her, dont ask me how I failed to see a yellow golf coming the other way, perhaps she made a mistake and it wasnt me, I dont know!!!!!) telephoning me to tell me "Didnt you see me then?" I asked her to put it down to the fact that not only am I old, stupid and forgetful....... "I was also busy answering the bloody phone!!!" Next week I start my computer course, I am really looking forward to it. although its a very basic one I am hoping that it will give me the information I need to bind togeather all my learning over the ten years or so I have been using them. Some time next week I have to attend a medical for my D.T.I. Yachtmaster offshore commercial ticket as it is due for renewal soon. To confirm that I am fit for the purpose as it were. I dont forsee a problem, lets hope that the doctor doesnt either....Righ!!!!!!!!!! I must switch of my Shania Twain record and retire to the television front, EugHhhh!!!!!! Sweet dreams to you all (eventually) Oh Ellen Mac is suffering not only has she broke her boat and repaired it up the mast again (did this last time) she has hit a patch of "Nil wind weather" the record is slipping away from her and she is little more than one day ahead so I hope she is wistling like mad and gets a fast passage past Rio, Las canarias, ushant etc and all points north. Go for it Ellen !!!!

Good morning World!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I................. am alive and kicking and up with the lark, as it were! yesterday I was a step nearer to cruising with my Baby (my boat) and went down to the Marina to check her out. She was lovely and of course glad to see me (she reads all my blogs ,you know! like annie Lennox and Ellen Mcarthy, not!) no I am not raving mad just happy to be alive. She looks exactly as she was when I left her last time, all mooring warps are in excellent condition, no chaffe, and no hull water penetration anywhere, the dehumidifying system is still pumping out gallons of condensation and she is totally dry inside. She is ready to go (well she would be if I could get the new engine to start. (battery problem!! that bank is five years old and needs replacing, and then off we can go!) so just one other small job to add to the pre season list, Ho hum!!

I am getting concerned about a couple of Bloggers that talk to me I haven`t heard anything from them in postings or comments. This is a new concept to me Worrying about people that you dont even know! But then again you worry about the innocent Iraqi citizens hurt in the war, the Tsunami victims, and I dont know any of them, so why not those who have very kindly given you their time? Gosh !! I have just had a thought, (thats a new experience for me) perhaps they dont want to talk to me any more??? OH! Noooooooo ! surely not? No that couldnt be, Could it? Of course not I am being silly!

I am using Skype now to , it really is very good except that I have had a couple of weid contacts which I immediately Zapped. If you dont have it ? download it from www.skype.com. its totally free unless you want to talk to mobile or land line phones and then you buy a card (it is still very much cheaper than any other sort of phone communication) and of course from" compbox" to "compbox" its free across the world so I can talk to Australia for nothing and do! admiralrob ,

Well I digress, The weather at the Marina was closing in and the Cumulus was passing over and the wind starting to build so stormy weather ahead and rain. I stopped at my favourite cafe for lunch (dont you always) and had the most amazing Ham salad it has to be the best salad in the UK it is always the same and I have trouble stuffing it into my now 15 stone 9 pounds frame, (219 kilos) yes the diets working and I am feeling fitter and with more energy.

Some friends of mine who live on their respective boat in the same Marina have split up and I hve been "treading on egg shells" for more than a few months (being tactfully supportive, not to one more than the other) now it seems to have finished and I am still friends with both parties so I seem to have been successfull. A week ago one of the parties of either sets of friends got togeather and are now living on one of the boats, and the other one is being sold. So !! well! its been like "Peyton Place" for a while. The both seem ecstatically happy and are looking forward to a full and long life togeather. I wish them both the wery best for the future As for the other couple she was a grumpy old F*art (like me ! :o))) and he treated his ex partner like the lowest of life, so I am not really sorry!!!! and in fact I think it has worked out for the best.

We went out for a nice sort of "celebratory" meal last night and really enjoyed ourselves, (oh! I forgot to mention that my wifes back is very much better now after four visits to the chiropractor) So my diet went out of the window, I won`t weigh myself for a few days as I just know that I will be over sixteen stone again.

The roads were very clear on the way back and we made good time. I always remember something that I heard from Victor Spinetti who was a very close friend of Marlene Dietrich, he said that she had told him that when she looked out of her hotel windows or her apartment in Paris something that was really apparent to her was the lights of the vehicles in the dark. She was very infirm at the time and used to sit and look out of the window for ages and she said to him. "Rubies going up and Diamonds coming down" I remembered that as I drove down the motorway nearer home and there was more traffic, it became apparent to me too. Funny what one remembers isnt it? I wonder if she reads my Blog? X

Jes! why no profile!

Are you in prison? if so it doesnt matter! share yourselves with the world!!!!!!!

Rob bears all !!!

The sloth bears, standing on the edge of their compound, were looking longingly across the open deep concrete dry moat, on the opposite side of which stood the public, safe behind their viewing barrier. In the bottom of the moat to take away the starkness of the heavy concrete structure, the keepers had planted some spindly trees in small flower beds and had also planted some grass on a light soil sprinkling scattered across the concrete floor.

One of the bears the male was stretching out over the moat trying to touch the light upper branches dancing in the mid summers breeze. I was passing the compound at the time and watched the large female turn to the male, stepping behind him, and push him off the edge, he stumbled and half fell and half jumped into the moat. He walked up and down half dazed and stopped and looked up in amazement at the now, suspended above him, female as if to say now what do I do?

I contacted the keepers by radio and informed them of what had happened and that some assistance would be needed to get the old fellow back into his enclosure, which sounds easier than it actually is. I ran to the office and arriving at the gun cabinet I unlocked it and loaded the dart gun with the appropriate drug and amount, going back to the stairs leading down to the steel door entrance to the dry moat. The old bear as grumpy as ever charged the door when he saw me, and then as if hehad suddenly remembered that he really didn’t want to be at that end of the moat. Bearing (excuse the pun) in mind that he had been darted from the grill in the door several times before, he turned and ran the thirty yards down to the other end of the moat and sat as if waiting for the world to end.

The keepers had seen this all before and came prepared with a nice fresh crusty loaf of bread that, placed in a poly bag, they had popped into the microwave to make smell really good. Mr grumpy lifted his nose to the air and sniffed and like a lamb resigned to the thought of slaughter, walked straight back to the door where the keepers fed him a couple of bits and I darted him. (Keepers name was Judas :o)) )

The dose was correct for his weight (which on later weighing was found to be so) but he took a little while to “go down”. When he had done so we opened the large double locks to the steel door and entered. The Keepers had placed a ladder down into the moat adjacent to where my grumpy had finally come to rest. And we proceeded to roll him over into a large canvas sheet with eight handles sown into it, wrapping it around him. The purpose made animal moving sheet made a suitable cradle in which to pull him up the ladder without harm, and with sufficient muscle, and rope. We duly attached the rope and the team of keepers pulled him up with me on the ladder underneath him using my shoulder to steer him up the ladder stopping him from falling off and ending suspended in mid air. From start to finish it had so far only taken about fifteen minutes to get Mr Grumpy darted and off the ladder into the large barrow ready to push him around to the den area behind the enclosures.

When I finally got off the ladder, back onto solid, level ground. Grumpy was sitting in the barrow like an oversized, overweight old gentleman having a nap in a deck chair. He appeared to be fast asleep and the keepers were taking the opportunity to have a rest from their arduous task, and some were smoking cigarettes. as I made my reflections he suddenly opened one eye! And all hell let loose, all of a sudden he was off in his barrow to his den at breakneck speed with the keepers pushing hard lest he should get up and run off, It rather reminded me of one of those drinking competitions where one raced from pub to pub pushing your partner in a pram, drinking a pint at each until the participants finally collapsed at pub twenty one?.

Mister Grumpy looked even more animated as he was bumped across the uneven ground in his barrow, swaying from side to side and lolling his head backwards and forwards, further convincing the keepers of the incompetence of all managers, particularly he who set the dart dosage and that he (me) was dead set on killing them all (with the help of a drug crazed sloth bear). I ran ahead carrying the gun and all the accessories that go with it, and opened the den up, the female was still locked out in the enclosure( as were the two other specis of bears and during the rescue she reminding us from time to time by taking long reaching swipes at us all as we worked down in the moat.

I took hold of the animal canvas as the keepers arrived with Grumpy, puffing and blowing, and assisted them to get him back into the den, he weighed a “ton” and it took all of us (still breathing heavily after the back breaking run) to get him finally settled on the floor of the den, suitably covered with a deep layer of straw.

With the canvas now rolled up in the barrow. I proceeded to remove the barbed dart from his haunches and sprayed him suitably with Tetramcin spray as a final precaution to stop any infection occuring in the small wound.

Unwittingly The bear had ended up between myself and my means of escape, (the door, which was now being held open by a worried and expectant looking young keeper). Just as I was evaluating all the possibilities of what would happen should he wake up prematurely, he sat bolt upright, opened his eyes looked at me as if to say what are you doing here? and started to moan and tremble violently, The next thing I heard was the slam of the den door behind me. I then saw an apologetic and sympathetic face appear at the small grilled observation panel presumably to see just how well the bear was getting on with the eating of the manager?

Now ! it is my firm belief that when you are really in the “Unko” one should just get on with it! So, I nonchalantly pushed the bear out of the way (who promptly fell over like a drunken man into the deep straw) and I walked to the door banging gently on it and saying in my calmest managerial voice, fully expecting at any time the delivery of a paw the size of a tennis racket with six inch nails around the edge, to decimate my blazer and indeed spine. “Can you let me out please?” To which the face appeared again and said “Oh Yes sir certainly! Sorry I forgot you were in there, Yea Right!!

Needless to say that I found out later from the vet that the Bears reactions under sedation whilst rare were to be expected, and he recovered fully within a couple of hours, not remembering anything about what happened to him, or being none the worse for his escapade.

The distinctive, rancid fat, smell of a close up male sloth bear will be remembered by me for the rest of my life!!!!! as will the cheap aftershave, I were that day, be remembered by the bear I have no doubt whatsoever. They were settled in a new very much larger home after this escapade, and I am told are still alive today. I really wouldnt have any wild animals in captivity if it wasnt for the total decimation and poaching of both their habitat and specis. I believe that it is important that we preserve a gene pool of healthy breading annimals for reintroduction into controlled areas of the world when suitably available. I further believe that captive bred animals will never truly be safe in a wild situation and we must always protect and nurture those specis, It is our duty. I do go on! sorry. I also believe that anyone exploiting animals when it is not in that animals best interest should be dealt with by the law of that country! (takes of serious head...........)

Alexander the great

I decided to go sit in the cinema for three and a half hours tonight and sit here winding down after what was a mediocre film with special effects to die for. It majored on the By sexual nature of the warrior class, and left out some important bits of history.

The lead was not big enough, both in stature and ability, however Tony Hopkins, whom I nearly had the oportunity to meet at an A.A. party (nearly name dropper, and no I am not a R.A. I was a guest) Held the whole film togeather with his narration as Homer or someone similar I think I fell asleep at the time he was named.

Would I go see it again? NO!!!!!!!. Oliver Stone, I know you read my blog, what were you thinking about producing that sort of film, with a weak lead to a Covert Homophobic nation? My explanation, given the way that Homosexuality is becoming more and more the norm, you are ahead of your time. Having read the Arab boy many years ago it somewhat spoilt the story line for me. Its Gonna cost you, regrettably. The cinema had seven people in it at the busiest show they had this week!

The best thing about this evening was the Praline ice cream which I shouldn`t have had ,due to the diet, which Incidently is working great (up to now) I am down to fifteen stones ten and a half pounds (100.227 Kilograms). Blahh!!! " The quickest way to loose weight it to eat everything that you hate" "Ardie 1981" .

I sit here now at midnight thirty and there is just me and the screen, the freedom to blog, that I have discovered fecently, has added a new dimention to my life strangling existance. I complain that I have no action in my life but when I speak with others they appear to have had much less.

I guess that I am expecting too much. I have had a very full life most of the time. with short lulls like now, that I have learned instinctively to fill with little joys like my granchild and Blogging. You could have ablolubtely no perception what a pleasure it is for me to be told that I am not too old to use a computer! or that someone may becoming addicted to my blog, Thakyou so very much it means such a lot, to a grumpy old man, Sleep tight and may you have pleasant dreams.

Contention, contention! Lunch..........

"Redundancy is the enema of industry! never employ fat people or smokers" "Ardie 1979"

Today I had lunch with a colleague of mine from Work days. He, like so many people who have attained the heights of industrial promotion, was made redundant and has been trying to make a living in the "consultancy world", without success, for over a year now.

He is back on the market again but at fifty seven years old and with four perfectly spoken languages and an honours degree from Cambridge, he is finding it difficult to get past the first interview`s as he is often seen as over qualified. His CV is far too impressive for the average company to accept. I have suggested that he sets his sights a little lower and he explained that he had and thought that he may be applying for jobs that are too far below his capability, hence the over qualified comments.

Yes they want to interview him just to see who this guy is with the fantastic C.V. but they couldnt possibly employ him. What a state for the employment situation to come to in the UK, I really feel for him, he is a great person and really needs stimulation at this time of his life. He would be an absolute asset to any company with the Bal*s to employ him.

Well we met at 12 .30 exactly! both of us arriving dead on time (old habits die hard) and we reminisced for an ahour or so putting the world to rights and exchanging details of past and present contacts and work friends, from colleagues through to directors and up to board members. He reminded me of a meeting that we had when I was leaving the company ( early retirement) that we both worked for. Saying "I shall always remember your saying that what goes around comes around!" (which I had heard previously from an unknown source, brobably Ardie, and it seemed appropriate at the time) "and do you know! you were right". This has happened to "so and so" and "thingy" has been sacked etc, etc, you really had the mark of the situation at the time didnt you?

Well I was surprised that so many "miscreants" had suffered so much bad luck in the time between their ruining the company and today. It does go to show that "What goes around comes around" was pretty correct in this case. I will always do to others, only what I would have done to myself, treating everybody with respect, even fat people and smokers!!!

Wooow!!!!!!!!! is my Box great! It is flying!!!!!!!!!! I have now downloaded Skype again and have the call name of "admiralrob". No I dont have aspirations! I couldn`t have rob unless I had twenty five numbers after it ( as there were so many others already listed) . I await my first call from whoever has the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WooooW!!!! Am I back big time or What??????

The box is back with a new super dooper memory, its been doubled, boy is it fast! I can watch television whilst typing letters on it, play DVD`s CD`s and I can record them too. The TV ariel isnt fixed yet so its a bit hit and miss as to where it has to face to get the best picture, I`ll soon have that sorted. "Takes deep breath" !!!!!!!!!!!

My palm is interfaced OK and also the finepix camera, sooooo! I am all tooled up and ready to go. I feel like an admiral that has been transferred to the army. I know roughly what they do and how to get them to work but they are a bit alien at present and there will be casualties, not the least to my patience. I can`t use them to their best advantage yet, still I am listening to miss minogue at the moment so I will play with it all and hey presto! I am literate........Not! More likely!!!!! a blue screen crash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well we are at "I wouldnt change a thing" and already I can think of a dozen things that I can now do that I couldnt, but I cant work out how to do them, oh well! it will come.

I have had a great day today not the least brought about by a very successfull compbox repair a successfull bit of business this morning and a stress free day, well mostly if you dont count that I cant yet work the box properly, which will frustrate me by the end of today.

The days been a bit grubby here on Mud island, drizzle mostly and a little cold. Ah! I have just sorted out my laptop, I have had a registry fault for a while and now I can access Office correctly. "As one door closes another opens" eh? thats good, as I can now continue with my book on both PC and laptop which I couldnt do for a while.

Ellen Mac is loosing valuable time and is now 3 Days and 22 hours ( was 4days 22 hours) ahead of the previous record held by francis joyon and still has to go through the Doldrums (an area of becalmed weather ajacent to the equator) Go for it young lady. I know you read my Blogs even though you dont comment!!! we are all with you.

We are at "I still love you" now and I have been reading the journals of other yachts on their voyages and I am thinking again that I should change to a yacht at the end of this year, I really want to Gooooo!!!! bigtime! before its too late, "Old age isnt for the faint hearted" I`m getting itchy feet in the nicest possible way. I will wait until I have finished cruising this year and make the final descision. Maybe!!

Sunday, Sunday!

Whilst fellow bloggers have their romantic liasons and others spend quality time with their family and friends I sit at the laptop Boored!

It really isn`t a good time for me to blog but it wont stop me rambling on. When I got home yesterday my grandson was waiting for me to arrive apparently he had been looking all around the house for me and was surprised to find that I couldn`t be found. When we met, the smile on his face and his actions were fantastic. What more could I want, or need, from life. We played and chatted for twenty minutes and he began to get tired and was taken home for his sleep, fantastic!!!!!!! it really made my day.

Last night I went to a Casino night at my boat club where they had gaming tables set out and you were expexted to purchased tickets and used it as money on the tables (a legal requirement at unlicensed premises in the UK). The first prize which was determined at the end of the evening by who had won the most ticket , was a bottle of champaigne and the second and third prizes were wine. The proceeds were to go to a local Charity. I stuck to the Roulette and quatered most of my bets ending up with about thirty times my origonal stake. I then placed eighteen chips on the evens and won. I moved them to the odds and won again. by now I was being paid out in tickets as there were not enough chips in use. It is a pity I cant win like this in real life. well it goes without saying I was up for a prize, but I was beaten by somebody to first place as she had collected all the other tickets off those who didnt stand a chance of winning, so I came second and graciously accepted the bottle of red wine returning it back to the Charity steward who will get to use it as a prize again (I am " tea total" and anyway its "winning wine" not drinking wine!!!!!! :O)))) ).


Today I have ascertained that we now have a lot more money to go to the Charity than we first expected and a great night was had by all. I have been over to the club today for lunch and roast lamb and all the trimmings was superbly prepared and eaten by the assembly, with crumble and custard to follow. I chatted to a collegue who has purchased a navigation package for use on his boat and agreed to visit him to help him on his journey of discovery ( Basically to show him how to use it) My Compbox comes back tomorrow so I will be a lot faster if not more prolific?????

My Daughter has just arrived and looks really great in her "track suit" (she has just been to the Gym) so I will close now and bore You all with more ramblings later. Oh! by the way!!!Helen Macarthy is almost off the Amazon estuary on her way back to the start line for her world beating record attempt. She is very tired and sounds as if a nights sleep would do her better than the record ! well good luck to you Helen and thankyou for reading my site with all you have to contend with at the moment Te He! Bye!!!!!!!!!.......

OK Mr Googely! I`ve got you sorted!!!!

I see that you have sorted out my Blogspot comment facility for me! Hrrmph!!!! when I said now I meant now and you sure did take note and worked fast, just as well too!

Hang on I have got a call from Google. com............................. "Oh! Really ! did I? ah!!!!!! that would explain it then , Oh yes !!I am very sorry! I wont do it again, promise!!!!!"


Well it seems that the problem is my being too impatient and not Google`s at all! hmmmmm! perhaps I am getting too old for this computer lark. Tell me Im not Pleeeeeaaaassee!!!!!

Impossible to comment??

It now seems that It is impossible for me to communicate with other bloggers as the ability to post comments on others sites has been withdrawn? I checked with Google help and they want a $1000- to check it out for me($ 2-4 actually) Im not paying that for help which I shouldnt need. Sort it out!!!!!!!!! We all know that Windows is a POS don`t lets start thinking that Blogspot is too.

Computer Course

Today I decided that all my self tought computer skills were missing the one thing that would make me computer literate, cohesion. So off I went to the local technical college to sign up for an "over the hills" IT course. Well the frosty faced nineteen year old "customer liason executive" explained in words of one syllable that they dont have any courses suitable for me only degrees or specialist ones (I cant see me spending time on a graphics package under tuition, I would just buy it and learn to use it, ish) as for a degree course one is too old at thirty for IT let alone sixty one with half a brain. So I progress further and sit at a compbox in the library, on the internet, for a while and ask a few questions of the very helpful French lady, as to whether or not she knows of any computer courses held in the area. She checked up with her fellow librarians and I was furnished with an addres not too far away from the library, so off I go.

It is being held in a set of offices over a carpet shop. I duly find said carpet shop and low and behold the courses are being held by the same college that I approached earlier, (why couldnt they have directd me here ?)

As the offices were previously used by the department of stealth and total obscurity, the offices are locked althoughI can see through the small fireproof glass panels in the doors that there are people sitting at compboxes with their backs to me. Ah! these are the classrooms I think to myself, and progress on to the next floor looking for the registration office, only to find that these offices are locked too so up to the top floor I go and sure enough the office is open so I enter.

A nice lady asks if she can help, and I explain what I am here for and she directs me down to the floor where the students are. (It is worthy of note at this juncture that she was nothing to do with the two floors below) I explained that they were locked and she said it was unusual... but to "tap on the door and wave at anybody that looks at you and just generally make yourself heard" so back down to the compbox room I go... and approach the pair of doors which look like something out of a Bank, with massive locks and wide strips of metal over the joints and a bell push which I had no luck with before. I tap on the door gently, nothing........ I peer through the glass waving politely and still no one pays attention to me. I ring the bell again and nothing!!!! Now I am getting really Pissed off !!! don`t they want my custom??????

I step back from the door and begin to think that I didn`t really want a computer course any way, never having been a "quitter", I start again but a bit more determind. I bang respectably on the door and again I look through the glass and nothing, I ring the bell for a full minute and still the people keep typing at their respective compboxes, so in frustration I step back place my bag on the floor and kick the door with my size 10 boots, it was just as well that the door had all that hardware on it as (ask any door that I have kicked...) most doors would have wimpered into submission ( but not this one) and I would now have in my possesion at this moment a bill for the repair.

Now all the backs have turned round and are facing me through the small glass windows, suddenly from stage left, the same customer service executive from the college earlier appears and waves me in with a twisting signal with her right hand. As I lipread (being more than a little deaf from the mis- use of firearms in my youth) I notice that she was saying " turn the handle and pull the door" which I did and it opened (I had taken it for granted that it was locked and opened inwards, the bell being the clincher that it was locked). Wellllll! didnt I feel silly! now everybody is looking at me and miss frostyface has beaten me down to the training place just to humilliate me, well I`ll show her! I boldly step in to the classroom forgetting about my bag who`s handle has managed to rap itself around my legs stopping any forward motion on my part, and I crash through the now open door ending up in a heap in front of Miss frostyface, much to the hillarity of the whole of the class.

I recover my posture halfway through Miss frostface apologising for not telling me about this class, and ask meekly how I could join this class. With a wry smile and her frost thawing she smiled sweetly saying "know how to open a door would help maybe" So in one hundred and twenty hours I will be IT man of the year.........................not :o)))

Coms back on after 6 days!

Here I am back at the computer , all up and running. What a pain it was to have to go to the local library and book a session to gain internet access. Still I guess I should think myself lucky that I can do that. Its like a spring day here with a little chill in the air and there are plenty of birds and even some plants are budding so even though its officially still winter the whole of nature is believing spring is here.

Loosing weight

I have lost seven pounds plus, I dont know where from as I look as well rounded as I did (to my eyes) but the scales say its right so I continue. I started at 231 pounds ( sixteen stones seven pounds or 105 KG) At over six feet it isnt too bad but classed as Obese in medical terms unless you are Muhammed Ali (that was his fighting weight I believe) my goal is 189 pounds ( thirteen stone seven pounds or 85.9 KG) which whilst its the medical weight that I am supposed to rest at seems a bit low for me. My fighting weight used to be 203 pounds but I guess that I was a lot fitter and better muscled, (Now dont lets kid myself that "I am still all muscle" cause I aint! says he holding himself in)

I found a quote on another site that I thought was appropriate for me to remember as I go through life it is by anonymous so I can`t attribute it to anyone in particular. With all the training and weight loss I expect to be participating in It makes me wonder a little.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely and in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ----WOW---- WHAT A RIDE!!! "

Whilst I would like to believe this, I will carry on as I am at the moment, because I think that you have to prepare and maintain any equipment for a long journey and Boy is mine going to be a long one....... I think I can accept from "skid in broadside etc. on. I need action, somethings missing, roll on the boating season!!!!!!! perhaps I spent too much time at the computer ? about three hours a day. perhaps I should finish my book perhaps, perhaps?? Time to make breakfast for a lovely lady with a very bad back, bless her it seems to be a little better today . the chiropracter seems to have helped!

Phones been down again

Now I am convinced that we really are a third world country. My phone has gone down again, and the nice man from Asia tells me that the earliest that it can be checked out is Friday. I do get the oportunity for morning or afternoon though.

What is the country coming to when someone in a country two thousand miles away, controlls when an engineer will call at my house to repair my telephone installation. My system has been in existance for over thirty years so far without my ever calling out an engineer and when I need one it would seem that I have been put to the back of the queue. All calls to me have been diverted free of charge to my mobile, but I was told that I cant use my out going service, however here I am on the net, though the phone, so whilst back on it is " intermittant" I could get cut off soon, who knows! Today at mid day my wife came back from shopping and her back suddenly " went into spasm" and so a trip to the Chiropractor was in order, she has been getting little indications that her back would "go" but I guess, as we all do, had hoped that she was over reacting but bang! one small bag of shopping a small twist and bingo PPPPAAAAIIIIINNNNN!!!!!! So dinner was my job tonight and for the next few days maybe weeks who nows.

I have fifty percent completed my tiling and it is starting to look OK tomorrow I will remove the cooker/hob, hood and tile behind it and then one small mitred piece of stainless trim and its finished . Oh! mustnt forget the mirror too. Pity I cant post photographs I think I would like to have put up one of my efforts for critisim or maybe even perhaps some compliments??? one day maybe just one day!!!!!!!

Compbox Blues

Man arrived, fiddled with box, for about three hours . he kept muttering something about "Iv`e never seen that before" and went, saying that he would have to check this out. so I am still using my laptop. Bleh!!

In an hour I start the final leg of my tiling marathon eugh! (I hate tiling) still apart from a large mirror to fit the kitchen will be finished. I then start on the ground floor shower room. With new wc, glass shower screen and wood floor plus decoration, it should look ok. That will take me to the boating season when I have to take the boat out of the water, 15 tons in weight, and strip off the paint on the bottom (antifoul) and replace it with new. The engines and generator need servicing after the winter "lay up"and the hull 13 metres X 5 metres needs to be polished plus the topsides, down below all the cabins need to have their duvets and all bedding cleaned/laundried plus general " housework" done. All elecronic equipment needs to be re-commissioned ready for the first voyage in mid March to the Isle of whight(Brr that will probably be cold) as I cruise alone mainly, it is important that all electronic equipment works 100% particularily the auto pilot " george" nearly as important as the sweedish twins, Olga and Helga the main Volvo engines who are in first class condition, Olga having been re-built last year. I have a computer on board so I can keep in contact with friends and I also use it for position indication GPS, and general chart navigation (pilotage) Mind you if I have the same problem with that as I do with my main shoreside box I will be back to using my charts and sextant Ho hum! back to the "Compbox Blues".........

Life`s Good

Yesterday I got my box back duly fixed (or so I thought) I disconnected my laptop and hey ho! I was back on line with a great turn of speed. Makes so much difference , my laptop is so slow. I downloaded Skype and duly made a call to a friend in the UK and it worked immediately I can now phone anybody in the world who has a lan line(broadband connection) for free. as I was about to rejoice the box "fell over" crashed with a blue screen. I closed it down and it wouldn`t allow me to open it again at all, not even in "safe mode" so here I am again with my laptop. Saga after Saga or so it seems. Whilst I have a fast box wth two hard drives I am now thinking that I will change it for something new. It is ten years old and while it has been rebuilt and rebuilt over and over again it is quite old for a computer. so tomorrow I will be searching the adverts in the papers and computer press for the best bargain.

Whist I think that my blogs are not worth reading I think that I am lucky to be able to communicate with other "bloggers" and really enjoy their keeping in touch, so life really is good... Thankyou guys!

I still haven`t finished the tiling in the kitchen but tomorrow I will start again Ishould have it finished by midday but then again!! :0)) who knows? Some friends of mine, two boats down from me in the marina, have just decided (over ten years) to divorce so my male friend is using my boat as his home for now( they lived on their boat) and she is staying in the marital boat as it were, so I have been able to help out a bit which makes me feel OK, pity I cant patch up their marriage but its irretrievable! so they both say, (Now the world gets sad!)

I have been over to my boat club for lunch and really enjoyed meeting my like minded boating friends. I left early so as to meet up with the comp box repairman (promised to turn up at 15.00 but its now16.00) who is going to down load my operating programme and reinstall it so "fingers crossed" I may be lucky who knows!

Waiting for the box

In am now waiting for the return of my "compbox" from the computer hospital. its due tonight so I will blog for a while. Its ok using a laptop but I do miss the speed of the P.C, I do have a palm but only use that when on journeys and that is slow too compared with the P.C. Please dont ask me what the speed of my P.C. is as I havent got a clue. "I use a computer like I use a hammer. I know what it does but I have absolutely no idea how it does it" That accounts for the fact that I can`t post photographs yet on the Blogsite. I will get there but its difficult with a hammer:o))

Hopefully when I get the main box back, and working properly, I will be able to use it for online telephone calls which I can`t seem to be able to do at the moment with the laptop, I incurred an error statement from the very start of trying to download the program. but it loaded up (nearly) and I now have a "shortcut" installed so maybe I will try to finish the download before finally diconnecting the Laptop.

I had a Shania twain disc for christmas and have just finished loading it in. I think I like it?, most of the tracks anyway.

Been there done that!!!!!

Well I have now been to the London boat show. All the glitz and new products, have been sucked in, evaluated and spewed out. I have my opinions on them all? I didnt see any boats that I would replace my existing one with, well not any that really stuck out as a must have, even if I could afford the six million pounds for the bigger ones, so I`ll stick with my existing one for another season.

The trip on public transport was worse than I expected and I ran into a wall of people trying to all get onto the same train at the same time, presumably, so as to be at work at the same time too. I have to say, the amount of jostling and elbowing taking place was incredible it brought memories back of my days as a prop forward in a rugby team :o))) When finally I did get into a carriage, we were all so squeezed in, I was pressed against the side window and to amuse myself I pressed my face flat against the glass window, pulling distressed faces at the people waiting on the station as the train pulled out. (One day I will grow up? never!!) but in the meantime, I enjoyed myself and made the people laugh, can`t be a bad thing to brighten up their journey can it?

My journey home was better as I changed my route and having used the DLR (docklands light railway) I used the main railway system more and it wasnt at a busy time too. The DLR is a little disconcerting as the trains dont have drivers and you can sit at the front of the train and just experience the journey. ( I was tempted to stand up and scream " My god!!! what has happened to the driver" but I decided not to, as it would not be suitable because the other passengers were of a great age and may not have seen the funny side of it, let alone participating in a few heart attacks) I guess that aircraft will eventually go the same way and not have pilots? Wierd!!!!!!!! a very strange feeling....just getting there!

Next year I will make my way by "Free running" I will have finished my diet by then and got fit????? we`ll see!!! :o))

Now that done I really must get my act togeather and finish the kitchen tiling :o)) and get the boat ready for another exciting season of journeys to "far away places"

Phone link failure

Well My thought that we are becoming a third world country are being confirmed each day. yesterday evening my phone line went dead and all contact with the outside world ceased (not really) I reported it with my cell phone and a nice gentleman from Asia suggested that I disconnect all appliances (and I have some) and just have one telephone so as to check out if I have a signal from the exchange. This I did and he was told that still communication is lost. so I have no computer link (my lifeline to the world) to use. He said that he would call me today,Wednesday,to check if a signal has returned at about 10.00 which he did, and it hadnt. Five minutes after his call today and an appointment had been made for an engineer to call, my telephone is now working. So here I am back with the world I can see me in the future having to tap my phone to keep it working like in the old movies while a distorted voice says something like "operator" ,"operator" :oD Te He!

Diet starts today I need to lose approximately 14 Kg to get down to my medical weight , although 1.86 metres in height, I am more comfortable a little heavier than the medical reccomendation. Still I will proceed with the diet and achieve my goal. More walking will start with the trip to the boat show and at least seven hours on my feet plus the journey by public transport and no burgers as I am taking my own food. Christ by tomorrow night I will be down to my goal weight?? Like hell! Oh well I will progress. I wish I had the guts to go out on roller blades without thinking that I was making a fool of myself at my great age. Who knows maybe I will It will have to be dark though?? Must do a risk assesment re traffic?? :o))

Boat show visit

I sit here in the early morning musing about things to come, its not yet light and the wildlife in the garden is leaving after their nights toil ( finding food for their families) My thoughts go out to the Tsunami victims and those left sick, hungry and afraid with no Idea of what the future may bring them. I wish them all the very best for the future and may they ( those remaining) live togeather in peace. I guess that even though I have sent a donation I am feeling guilty for being so lucky.

On Thursday I am going to the London boat show Wooooow! it is now being held in the Thames docklands on the eastern side of London, in a big fairly new exhibition centre called Excel. I could drive there but I will go on the public transport, nightmare but it has to be done. I have a ticket for the press/preview day so it won`t be too crowded, for the first time in many years of visiting I will be actually taking my lunch with me, I always carry a small rucksack for any items that I may wish to collect and carry, like a wet weather coat etc so it will be no problem to tuck some coke and sandwiches in there too. No I am not a skinflint but I do just feel that the high prices charged for third rate food is an insult to our (the visitors) intelligence. I am thinking of changing my boat this year so I will be open to suggestion as to which way I should progress, boat wise, I am really looking forward to my visit.

Well its getting light and I have rambled on enough, the last fox has dissapeared home and the birds, two collar doves, thrushes, magpies and a robin, are now in the garden pulling at worms and bathing in the bird pond. the world (my world) is starting to wake. I have already posted a comment on to a "friends" site and now I am beginning to wish I hadn`t been so opinionated, people are kind enough to accomodate me and my intrusions (on their blogs) and then I go and make my feelings know about subjects that I have long since finished with, Oh well if you read this please forgive my rash comments they were meant for the best at the time. There I go again!!! I used to be indescisive but now I am not so sure! Take care!

A new year!

Its Sunday and the sun is shining, its very cold outside but there are no clouds in the sky. The frost sparkles on the car and I cant be bothered to clear it off so I walk to the news agent and collect a news paper. On the way I meet my son and my grand son on their way to visit with us, my daughter in law is expecting her next baby and is somewhat sick at the moment. My Grandson has been acting up and my son has been told "to sort it" so here they are banned from the house until she is fit enough to deal with them, te he! she has got them sorted, I love her, it makes me smile when I think of what he (my son) used to get up to and now its coming home. Who ever said "what goes around comes", etc, etc, was right.

We walked up to the shop and back and then they visited with us for a few hours, he`s nearly walking (my grandson that is :o)) ) stands on his own but no first step forward yet it`ll come and then watch out. They left at about midday and I went to my boat club for lunch which was great. I met with some friends of mine and we sat on his boat and chatted in the sun, I was in shirtsleeves and we sat on his sundeck drinking tea, eating Christmas cake, putting the world to rights, and planning our forthcoming trip to Dunkirk for the "D" day celebrations. Ho hum! what a life? So back home at 18-00 and then dinner. Tomorrow is a bank holiday so most places are closed, I may go down to my boat and check it out, but then again I will probably enjoy the good weather and walk or visit with friends again. The kitchen tiling still needs finishing, I really must do that, but another day, soon, I promise.