Thursday, August 17, 2006

A not so lucky sailboat

Run aground in the shallows of the Thames :o((. Its at a time like this that I would get off the boat and start to clean the bottom and prop! lets hope that I never have to do this on a delivery, could get expensive

A little sailboat bimbling along in the estuary

Just before the squall hit us! note the sky, pretty exciting?

More photos of Lulworth

I want one!

I forgot the Buddist shrine photo too

What a magnificant structure! you will never find a piece of litter or grass leaf out of place around it, I swear that a monk appears and sweeps up without one seeing him. It is said that they live in tents at the base of the edifice but I have never seen any presence. beautiful though in a strange sort of manner! He must have been one hell of a guy to have all the followers that he still has. Thats one business I would like a slice of! or was it the holy Roman church? not sure.

The Tower of London

I lost this photo when I was trying to write my "last post" so here it is . I was "stationed" there for a while, mainly spending time in Jankers behind the parade ground clock, polishing shell cases. you can just see the top of the Traitors gate arch, so called because the spikes on the top of the port cullis were used to hold the severed heads of so called traitors! and they say that Vlad the Impaler was bad?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

On the way out from Queenborough I spotted

My next project boat (with my Tim Zim head on that is) arriving, I had a call from the tug skipper who didnt know he was driving the wrong way round asking if it was OK to moor alongside? well what could I say but "Strike a light Govenor" (cause thats how all us cockneys start a sentence) you shouldn`t be within a mile of me, but as the channel is only 500 yards wide at this point, I would let him do so! Suddenly the harbour masters launch appeared alongside and stated rather firmly that there would be "no striking of any-bodies lights" otherwise both the gas tanker and the explosives wreck (montgomerie) situated a quarter of a mile to its stern, would blow up and send Canary wharf down town to Shepperton.

Queenborough an inlet off the Medway estuary, made a good tie up for the night and repairs to the starboard engine

Whilst on the next section past the QE2 Bridge

I lost the starboard engine and was hit by a squall where the weather went from nil knots to not being able to look into it in 5 seconds. it was time to turn for a secondary destination and so I found my way to Queen borough! more to follow.

The Thames barrier even though they tried to stop me getting out I swerved through Charlie span and escaped!

On through the Thames Barrier

Even when they tried to stop us leaving I skidded around and went out of the open one (Charlie Span)

The Cutty Sark`s a funding lark!

One could have five like her built new in Turkey for the cost of a minor refurbishment! Wheres your heart Robin! Its certainly not in my pocket! what a waste!!!

Onwards across the international date line!

Not if the French had it their way? they and the Germans own all our commodities now, so why not the date line going through Paris! Over my not so dead Body!!!!! Tout suite portfabour mine frauline mit motor :o))

On past some of the financial institutions of London

Oh!! I nearkly forgot the H.O.P. and "Big Ben"

Ah I remember the days when I could stroll down and watch the ceremony of the Keys for the 500th time such memories!

Whilst serving with the Royal Fusiliers I "spent some time" (behind the parade ground clock, the armory!) here before the regiment were shipped to Cyprus and then eventually amalgamated into the Royal regiment of fusilies etc.

I shouted "Quack-quack! at them like you do in Boston and got told to "desist" (off) by the police fact rib?

Beautiful sculpture on bridges destined not to be seen by most people

The largesr brick building in europe?

dear old Battersea and Albert bridges with the buddist temple before "The Chelsea bridge Hotel"

The Chelsea Bridge Hotel is the red box on the Right hand side! I cant believe that we used to jump off these as Kids!and climb "the Albert towers"

The Chelsea reach Houseboats where Damien Hurst had his

I very nearly bought one of these for £35K god knows what it would cost today! battersea bridge is to the right of this picture.

Battersea old church

I once picked up a stick from these foreshores only to find that it was an eel!

Hammersmith bridge at neaps just off High water

We did get under with the radar arch down!

Boats at the Dove pier just before Hammersmith bridge

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Guess youv`e all heard it!


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting...'Holy S**t...What a Ride!"
-unknown !

Works for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always think that life is the wrong way round and that we should all die during one great siesmic Orgasm!

I got one of those ( photos) whilst I was down there!

And a speeding ticket for 36 mbh in a 30 zone euuugh! how will I explain that to the IAM without getting a soppy letter telling me how they expect better from thie members?

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Mondays task

Well I have finally signed up for the delivery of a Princess 415 motorboat from Shepperton to Brighton possibly via a few french ports as well! I estimate that I will leave Teddington about 1200 having left Shepperton in enough time to get there by then (approx two hours before for a slow run) High tide at London Bridge is 12-55 and so Richmond half tide lock will be Hightide one hour after (13.55) I should arrive there at 12-55 and have enough depth of water from then on to London bridge! my bioggest delay will be at Hammersmith bridge but the tide is a neep tide and if I get there a while before high water I will clear it with the Radar Mast down. From then on it`s down through Wandsworth reach past Battersea square and its historic church where once the Swan public house stood (and I was briefly a member of the sea scouts across the road) and on through and chelsea reach, past all those house boats where Damien Hurst the "Artist" lived. Under Battersea bridge where as a boy we used to jump off and dive into the thames avoiding the police boats by running along the foreshore and then up the sloping concrete wall by Rank Hovis MC Dougal flour mills (using the expansion joints for climbing holds) no policeman ever came near to catching us but we did cut our feet occasionally on broken glass, even when swimming in my schoo plimmies, I was a regular at the anti vivvi`s (the local hospitals) accident surgery

Albert bridge is the next bridge to pass under and that holds some really good memoris for me! as a kid ( until I got married) I lived off Park Gate Road and Battersea park was my playground.

Albert bridge used to be the point that the Chelsea arts college students used to enter into Battersea on their rag week so we used to climb up the suspension arms of the bridge and sit in the mini towers ready with bags of flour to Zap em as they arrived! I never fell off into the water but often thought that I may. I had a friend called johny who did though! He survived to fight another day.

On down the river between Chelsea and Albert bridges lies the buddist temple? I think, in battersrea park. Chelsea bridge is the home of the Chelsea bridge hotel (a Burger/cofee stall on the battersea side) as a young Biker and indeed more lately with an annual management outing from my theme park, I use to kid people that we would go to the Chelsea bridge hotel, for a meal. On my last visit It was as usual full with bikers and I turned around to find that my Personell manager had hitched a ride on a motorbike and was off down the road doing the fast run , which consisted of a trip down to the roundabout and back as fast as it could be done! bearing in mind that she was fourtyish and wearing a miniskirt she caused quite a stir, with many other bikers offering her a fast ride. The Battersea powerstation is the next object to pass and stands "resplendant" as the largest brick built buildnin in Europe! No insides, as Alan Brown of Alton towers fame had them removed but I guess its classed as a building. With Cadogan pier left far behind, we will continue on down past the Houses of Parliament and "Big ben" the OxO building and st Catherins dock just past Tower bridge and the Tower where as a Royal Fusiler I "spent some time"

The Thames takes us past may famous institutions and buildings and out into the industrial parts of Tilbury and Dagenham (once the home of the Ford motor works UK) Under the Queen Elizabeth bridge and then into the estuary proper at Southend on sea and its great (of late burnt down ) Pier. By now I will be heading for the four fathom channel located south of the Medway channel ( bouy) used by the vessels heading down the princess channel and into the medway to the "Medway docks" there. This channel is never fully four fathoms minimum so it is worthy of note that I shall approach it (on neeps) whilst the tide is filling the thames to ensure that even should I touch ground (it won`t happen as its expensive) I will have enough water to move me off any grounding.

The four fathom channel (is the inshore route to the south coast rather than taking the princes channel, offshore) saves me some time and of course fuel but has its hazards (minimal) it passes Faversham and whitstable ( famous for its oyster beds ending at the Margate sands. From where we will turn south west past Ramsgate through the goodwin sands, where many a ship has been lost, past Deal to Dover!The most famous of the Cinqe (5) ports built to dissuade the french from invading (with the amout of Norman dissentangle lorries and the fact that they now own a large part of out utilities) I think that I can firmly say that the cinque ports were a waste of time. More to follow??????? if wanted

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The cricketer!

The Television crew were eating their bacon sarnies compliments of the butty-wagon when the producers "Huray henry" voice suddenly boomed out "come on guys lets get some work done" thin as a pole and obnoxious as he was I guess that he must have been good at his job. The two chimps that were the centre of attention of the crew were suddenly spurred into action by his voice. the male, Simbad! was now threarening to throw an orange out of his moated enclosure and after several pretend throws he finally let the orange go whereupon the producer ran forward and with great dexterity caught the orange shouting at the top of his voice! How Zat!

The old malechimp turned his back and walked back to sit along with the female. The producer now "full of himself" for being so clever as to catch the orange hung on the rail taunting the old chimp who did his best to ignore him. The producer now decided that he should give the orange back to the chimp and threw it into the enclosure where it eventually rolled to the foot of the old chimp. Glad to have his orange back he picked it up and once again threatened to throw it back into the group! whereupon the producer stood forward to catch it. The chimp decided that he wouldnt throw it to him and tried to get someone else to catch it and aimed it at a female of the crew. The producer pushed her out of the way and again caught the Orange, shouting "Hows Zat"! throwing it back to the chimp!

A few minutes passed before the old chimp stirred and the crew had started to film their asignment. He started to jump around and swinging his arm with the orange in it, he once again made a few aborted attempts to get someone to catch it, the Producer decide that he had started this off, he had better "play ball" and as the Chimp loosed off the "Orange" he jumped into the air quite dramatically to catch it, only this time it wasnt an orange as the whily old chimp had swapped it for "Unko" ( Japanese for shit)
the produer caught it and shouting Hows Zat as it squeezed through his fingers the crew to a man laughed as one of them said pretty "shitty"!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still laugh when I recall the old chimp! ( Sinbad) he was a gorgeous chimp very handsome and quite intelligent! He departed this world whilst he was stamping around in his new three dimentional cage, doing his look at me and what a fine specimen I am (which he was ) display, literally falling off his perch. I rather see myself doing that one day! :o))

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Who`s the inteligent being ?

The silver backed Gorilla sat "boored" inside his "deep littered" cage, Yes! he was well looked after! he had been checked over by the vet this week and served the very best of food by his attendants and his many "wives" were there for him, when he could catch them (his cage was a three dimentional construction and they tended to take to the high ground to get away from his advances unless they felt otherwise) Today he sat there quietly not making eye contact with the many visitors standing and watching him. The day was warm and he was sitting quietly gently picking sunflour seeds out of the deep litter, (his Keepers had salted them prior to his being let out)With his massive hands he would gently turn over the straw and with his great fingers , collect a single seed from underneath it, popping it into his mouth and relishing it as though it was a "Black Magic Cherry surprise) He was supprisingly dexterous for such an awe inspiring creature, his public stood trance like, as he gently moved his great frame along the cage to a better spot, they moved with him watching his every move. On the corner of the cage there was a shallow pool in which he used to sit on hot days but mainly he would drink from it. after about ten minutes he had positioned himself adjacent to it ,gently dipping his fingers into the cool water and sucking the moisture from them. The public, his public, were fascinated, even more people had gathered around to watch him. When he felt that he had attracted enough he slowly dipped his great hand into the water up to his elbow. Cupping his hand he swung his great arm out of the water in the direction of the crowd covering them all with water. Those that had realised what he was going to do, did so too late and those that didn`t, stood there dripping and giggling at their own stupidity. The gorilla now making eye contact with a few of his public carried on gently foraging for sunflour seeds. I have to say that he didn`t look so boored anymore, bless him!